My husband and I recently started watching The Golden Girls. It’s a light and funny show that neither of us had ever seen before. For those unfamiliar, it’s a comedy where four middle-aged women share a house. Three of the women are widows, and one character, Dorothy, is divorced.
In one episode, Blanche’s daughter visits. She is pregnant and near term, and she wants her mother to be with her when she gives birth. Blanche, played by Rue McClanahan, struggles with the pregnancy because the baby does not have a father. Her daughter was artificially inseminated.
Blanche grew up in the southern United States. She believes in marriage and retains traditional views of family, while her daughter, approaching forty, chose to have a baby without a father due to her circumstances. In the United States, we have the freedoms and technology that enable women to make such decisions independently. Whether one agrees or disagrees, the choices are available.
This scenario brings to light a common issue: judgment. Often, one person is so caught up in their beliefs that they think their perspective is the only right one. But can’t both people be right for themselves?
Blanche was right in that she wouldn’t choose to have a child without a husband. In her day, the technology might not have been available, so she might not have even had that possibility. She couldn’t conceive (pun intended) of that option. However, her daughter made a choice that she feels good about. It is right for her.
Applying Respect in Leadership
This story from The Golden Girls teaches us something essential about respect, especially in the context of leadership. In the workplace, leaders often encounter diverse perspectives and choices that may not align with their own beliefs. Respecting others means acknowledging that different choices and beliefs are valid for different people. We may not always agree, but we can respect each other’s right to choose what is best for ourselves.
Respect is one of the four pillars of the CARE Leadership Model™ for exactly this reason. It asks leaders to honor the individual, not just their position or performance, but where they are in their understanding, experience, and perspective. When we lead with respect, we create the psychological safety that allows people to show up honestly, contribute fully, and trust that their voice matters.
The need to be right is one of the most common barriers I see in my coaching practice. Leaders who hold tightly to their own perspective, even with the best intentions, shut down the very dialogue that builds trust and drives innovation. When a team member senses that their leader has already decided what’s correct, they stop offering their honest input. Over time, that silence becomes a culture problem.
Letting go of the need to be right doesn’t mean abandoning your values or your standards. It means creating enough space for others to be right in their own way too.
Strategies for Cultivating Respect at Work
Encourage open dialogue. Foster an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their perspectives without fear of judgment. Actively listen and validate their viewpoints, even if they differ from your own. Be curious about different points of view rather than defensive about yours.
Embrace diversity. Recognize and appreciate the diverse backgrounds, experiences, and ideas that each team member brings. Create opportunities for people to share their unique insights and contributions. The richest solutions come from teams where different perspectives are welcomed, not just tolerated.
Model respectful behavior. Demonstrate respect in your interactions by being courteous, attentive, and considerate. Address conflicts with empathy and a willingness to understand the other person’s perspective. Your team watches how you handle disagreement, and they take their cues from you.
Set clear expectations. Establish and communicate clear expectations for respectful behavior within the team. Reinforce these expectations through consistent actions and by addressing any disrespectful behavior promptly. Silence gives behavior permission, and leaders who don’t address disrespect are quietly endorsing it.
Celebrate differences. Acknowledge and celebrate the unique strengths and contributions of each team member. Promote an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and respected. When people feel that their differences are seen as assets rather than obstacles, they bring more of themselves to the work.
By implementing these strategies, leaders create a workplace culture that values respect and fosters collaboration, innovation, and mutual understanding. Just as Blanche and her daughter navigated their differing perspectives with love and respect, leaders too can guide their teams with a similar approach, ensuring everyone feels heard and valued.
Reflect and Act
Take a moment to consider how judgment might be showing up in your conversations. Are you curious about others’ perspectives, or are you attached to your own point of view? Do you acknowledge differences in opinion and even encourage disparate thinking, or do you shut them down?
Notice how you feel when someone shares a view that differs from your own. Notice any resistance and get curious about it. Do you have a need to be right?
By enabling different points of view, you encourage and support connection, build trust and safety, and create a healthier work environment.
Try implementing one or two of these strategies this week. Letting go of the need to be right creates space for better communication, collaboration, and connection.
Together, let’s lead with more respect, one conversation at a time.
Respectfully yours, Dr. Julie
Want to Build a Culture of Respect on Your Team?
If you recognize that judgment or the need to be right is creating friction in your leadership, coaching can help you shift that pattern. Book a complimentary 30-minute Leadership Clarity Call and let’s talk about how respect and trust can transform your team dynamics.
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Dr. Julie Donley, EdD, PCC, is a leadership coach, keynote speaker, and award-winning author of Leading at the Speed of People. She helps mid-to-senior level leaders navigate conflict, reduce stress, and lead with clarity, confidence, and calm through the CARE Leadership Model™. Learn more at drjuliedonley.com.