Respecting Others: Letting Go of Needing to Be Right

Discover how releasing the need to be right can strengthen relationships and foster respect.

Think about your last argument. What was going on in your head? Often, we find ourselves in arguments when we become very attached to our ideas in that moment. So attached, in fact, that our idea is more important than the person standing in front of us. That need to be right becomes so strong that we become “righteous” and lose focus on what we truly value. We place more importance on being right than on maintaining the relationship and being respectful and kind.

Now, think back to that recent argument. Do you even remember what it was about? Often, it is not the actual issue that causes the struggle, but our need to be right. It’s not about being right or wrong but rather needing to be right. This need, left unchecked, leads us to put up a wall or barrier, and we close ourselves off from taking in any other information. If the other person becomes defensive, which typically occurs, their wall goes up as a form of protection. Both parties stop listening to one another, and the relationship suffers from the emotions and words that spill out. It’s not a pretty picture.

The Power of Letting Go

Letting go of the need to be right is a powerful step toward building respectful and harmonious relationships. When we prioritize being right, we often sacrifice understanding, empathy, and connection. By letting go, we open ourselves to new perspectives and create space for genuine dialogue.

In my book, Leading at the Speed of People, I emphasize the importance of humility and openness in leadership. These qualities allow leaders to foster an environment where diverse ideas are valued, and team members feel heard and respected. When leaders model this behavior, they set a standard for the entire organization.

Embracing Humility and Openness

Letting go of the need to be right requires embracing humility and openness. Humility allows us to acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and that others’ perspectives are valuable. Openness means being willing to listen and consider different viewpoints without immediate judgment.

This approach not only strengthens relationships but also enhances collaboration and innovation. When team members feel safe to express their ideas without fear of judgment, they are more likely to contribute creatively and effectively.

Practical Strategies for Letting Go of Needing to Be Right

1. Practice Active Listening: Focus on truly understanding the other person’s perspective. Give them your full attention, ask clarifying questions, and reflect on what they are saying without planning your rebuttal.
2. Acknowledge Your Emotions: Recognize when you feel the urge to defend your position. Take a moment to breathe and calm yourself before responding. This helps you stay open to the other person’s viewpoint.
3. Value the Relationship: Remind yourself that the relationship is more important than winning the argument. Prioritize respect and kindness over being right and choose to listen to understand the other person. By doing so, you demonstrate how to lead with respect. 
4. Seek Common Ground: Look for areas of agreement and build from there. Finding common ground helps to bridge differences and fosters mutual understanding.
5. Be Willing to Apologize: If you realize you were wrong or that your approach was hurtful, be willing to apologize. A sincere apology can mend relationships and build trust.

Reflect and Act

Take a moment to reflect on how you handle disagreements. Do you feel the need to be right? Are you open to other perspectives? Letting go of the need to be right isn’t about surrendering your beliefs but about valuing the relationship and fostering mutual respect. You don’t have to agree to listen to try to understand where the other person is coming from. 

Try implementing one or two of these strategies this week. Notice the impact it has on your interactions and relationships. Letting go of needing to be right is a powerful tool in building respect and understanding.

Thank you for taking the time to explore the power of letting go of the need to be right with me. Let’s continue to build relationships based on respect and understanding, and together we can make the world a better place—one encounter at a time.

Respectfully yours,

Dr. Julie