Respecting Differences: Being Right in Our Own Minds

Explore how letting go of the need to be right fosters respect and stronger relationships.

My husband and I were watching The Golden Girls the other night. It’s a light and funny show that neither of us had ever seen before. For those unfamiliar, it’s a comedy where four middle-aged women share a house. Three of the women are widows; one character, Dorothy, is divorced.

In one episode, Blanche’s daughter visits. She is pregnant and near term, and she wants her mother to be with her when she gives birth. Blanche, played by Rue McClanahan, struggles with the pregnancy because the baby does not have a father. Her daughter was artificially inseminated.

Blanche grew up in the southern U.S. She believes in marriage and retains traditional views of family while her daughter, approaching forty, chose to have a baby without a father due to her circumstances. In the United States, we have the freedoms and technology that enable women to make such decisions independently. Whether one agrees or disagrees, the choices are available.

This scenario brings to light a common issue: judgment. Often, one person is so caught up in their beliefs that they think their perspective is the only right one. But can’t both people be right for themselves?

Blanche was right in that she wouldn’t choose to have a child without a husband. In her day, the technology might not have been available, so she might not have even had that possibility. She couldn’t conceive (pun intended) of that option. However, her daughter made a choice that she feels good about—it is right for her.

Applying Respect in Leadership

This story from The Golden Girls teaches us an essential lesson about respect, especially in the context of leadership. In the workplace, leaders often encounter diverse perspectives and choices that may not align with their own beliefs. Respecting others means acknowledging that different choices and beliefs are valid for different people. We may not always agree, but we can respect each other’s right to choose what is best for ourselves.

Strategies for Cultivating Respect in the Workplace

1. Encourage Open Dialogue:
   • Foster an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their perspectives without fear of judgment.
   • Actively listen and validate their viewpoints, even if they differ from your own.
   • Be curious about different points of view.
2. Embrace Diversity:
   • Recognize and appreciate the diverse backgrounds, experiences, and ideas that each team member brings.
   • Create opportunities for team members to share their unique insights and contributions.
3. Model Respectful Behavior:
   • Demonstrate respect in your interactions by being courteous, attentive, and considerate.
   • Address conflicts with empathy and a willingness to understand the other person’s perspective.
4. Set Clear Expectations:
   • Establish and communicate clear expectations for respectful behavior within the team.
   • Reinforce these expectations through consistent actions and by addressing any disrespectful behavior promptly.
5. Celebrate Differences:
   • Acknowledge and celebrate the unique strengths and contributions of each team member.
   • Promote an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and respected.

By implementing these strategies, leaders can create a workplace culture that values respect and fosters collaboration, innovation, and mutual understanding. Just as Blanche and her daughter navigated their differing perspectives with love and respect, leaders too can guide their teams with a similar approach, ensuring everyone feels heard and valued.

Reflect and Act

Take a moment to consider how judgment might be showing up in your conversations. Are you curious about others’ perspectives or are you attached to your own point of view? Do you acknowledge differences in opinion and even encourage disparate thinking, or do you shut them down? How do you address conflicts? Silence gives behavior permission. (We will cover that in a future article.)

Try implementing one or two of these strategies this week. Notice how you feel when someone shares views that differs from your own. Notice any resistance—get curious about it. Do you have a need to be right? By enabling different points of view, you encourage and support connection, build trust and safety, and create a healthier work environment.

Thank you for taking the time to explore the power of respect in leadership with me. Let’s continue to find ways to lead with respect and together, we can change the world—one conversation at a time.

Respectfully yours,

Dr Julie