Most of the leaders I work with don’t come to coaching because they’re failing. They come because something feels off and they can’t quite put their finger on what it is.
They’re working harder than ever, but the results aren’t matching the effort. They’re managing their calendar down to the minute, but they’re still exhausted at the end of every day. They have a nagging sense that they should be handling things differently, but they don’t know what “differently” actually looks like.
If that sounds familiar, you’re in good company. I’ve been coaching leaders since 2001, and I’ve worked with more than 300 executives and managers who walked through the door feeling some version of this. The good news is that once you can name what’s going on, you can start to change it.
Here are seven signs that working with a leadership coach could make a real difference for you.
1. You Were Promoted, But Nobody Taught You How to Lead
This is one of the most common patterns I see. You were excellent at your job, so your organization moved you into a leadership role. But being great at the work and being great at leading the people who do the work are two very different things.
As I wrote in Leading at the Speed of People, many leaders get caught in a web of thinking that pushes them to be all things to all people, to question and doubt themselves, or to try to do it all on their own. The result is stress, overwhelm, dissatisfaction, and burnout. And it means they don’t actually lead. They just work harder and harder.
If you were promoted without any real leadership development, you’re not behind. You just have a gap that nobody helped you fill. A coach can close that gap quickly, giving you the tools and self-awareness to lead people, not just manage tasks.
2. You’re Avoiding Conversations You Know Need to Happen
There’s a direct report whose performance has been slipping for months. A peer who keeps overstepping boundaries. A team dynamic that everyone can feel but nobody talks about. You know the conversation needs to happen, and you keep putting it off.
This is one of the top reasons leaders reach out to me for coaching. They want to address the issue but they’re afraid of making things worse, damaging the relationship, or handling it poorly. So they do nothing, and the problem quietly grows.
In coaching, we work through these specific situations together. Not with scripts or generic advice, but with a plan tailored to the actual people involved, the dynamics at play, and the outcome you want. Most clients tell me that learning to navigate difficult conversations is the single most valuable skill they take away from coaching.
3. You’re Constantly Overwhelmed and Can’t See a Way Forward
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you care. But caring too much without the tools to manage that pressure can leave you depleted and reactive.
I’ve seen this pattern hundreds of times: a leader who is genuinely committed to their team, their organization, and doing good work, but who has absorbed so much stress that they can’t think clearly anymore. They’ve lost perspective. They’re making decisions from a place of exhaustion rather than clarity.
Coaching helps you step back from the chaos and figure out what actually needs your attention, what can be delegated, and what you’ve been holding onto that was never yours to carry in the first place.
4. Your Emotions Are Running the Show
Early in my career in behavioral healthcare, I learned something that applies to leadership at every level: human behavior isn’t logical. It’s emotional. And emotional reactions, left unmanaged, are what cause conflict, miscommunication, disengagement, and toxic work environments.
If you find yourself snapping at your team when you’re stressed, shutting down during tense meetings, or replaying interactions in your head for days afterward, your emotions are driving your leadership more than you realize.
One of the core shifts I help leaders make in coaching is moving from reactive to responsive. That means developing the self-awareness to notice when you’re being triggered, and the emotional intelligence to choose how you respond instead of just reacting. As I shared in a recent interview, a single interaction from a leader can either escalate stress or defuse it. That’s an enormous amount of influence, and most leaders underestimate it.
5. Your Team Has Friction and You’re Not Sure Why
Sometimes the problem isn’t one person. It’s a pattern. Tension between departments. Silos that won’t budge. A general sense that people aren’t collaborating the way they should be.
When I work with leaders on team dynamics, we usually discover that the friction has deeper roots than what’s visible on the surface. Maybe expectations were never clearly communicated. Maybe there’s a trust deficit that formed long before you took over. Maybe the team is reacting to stress that’s flowing down from leadership, whether you intended it or not.
Leaders who are constantly overwhelmed or reactive unintentionally create environments where stress becomes contagious. In coaching, we identify where the friction is actually coming from and build a strategy to address it at the root, not just the symptoms.
6. You Don’t Have Anyone You Can Be Fully Honest With
Leadership can be isolating. The higher you go, the fewer people you can talk to openly about what you’re dealing with. You can’t vent to your team. You may not want to burden your partner. And your peers are dealing with their own pressures.
One of the most underappreciated benefits of coaching is having a confidential thinking partner who has no agenda other than helping you lead well. You can say the things you’ve been holding back. You can admit what you don’t know. You can test ideas and process situations without worrying about how it will be perceived.
As one of my coaching clients, a brand-new Chair of a large academic program, shared: Dr. Donley helped me to identify the confidence within and also helped me to identify and develop my authentic leadership abilities. That kind of honest, supportive partnership is hard to find inside an organization. It’s exactly what coaching provides.
7. You Know You’re Capable of More
This one is quieter than the others. There’s no crisis. No major conflict. You’re doing fine by most measures. But there’s a persistent feeling that you could be leading at a higher level, and you’re not sure what’s holding you back.
Sometimes the leaders who benefit most from coaching aren’t the ones in crisis. They’re the ones who are already good and want to become great. They want to sharpen their communication, deepen their emotional intelligence, build stronger trust with their team, or develop a leadership presence that matches the scope of their role.
As I wrote in my book, you are the self-study course on what it means to be human, and your life is the curriculum. Coaching accelerates that learning in ways that reading books and attending workshops simply can’t replicate, because it’s personalized, it’s accountable, and it’s happening in real time alongside the challenges you’re actually facing.
What Happens Next
If you recognized yourself in several of these signs, that’s a good thing. Awareness is always the first step.
The leaders I work with come to coaching from all kinds of industries: healthcare, finance, manufacturing, education, nonprofits, and more. What they have in common is a willingness to invest in their own growth and a commitment to leading people well.
My coaching program, the Stress-Free Leadership Accelerator, is a 12-session experience grounded in the CARE Leadership Model™ (Communication, Appreciation, Respect, and Empathy). It’s designed for leaders who want to move from stress and self-doubt to confident, people-centered leadership.
But it all starts with a conversation.
Book a complimentary 30-minute Leadership Clarity Call. We’ll talk through your biggest leadership challenge, identify what’s getting in the way, and figure out whether coaching is the right fit for your goals.
Schedule Your Complimentary Clarity Call
No pitch. No pressure. Just clarity on what’s next.
Dr. Julie Donley, EdD, PCC, is a leadership coach, keynote speaker, and award-winning author of Leading at the Speed of People. She helps mid-to-senior level leaders navigate conflict, reduce stress, and lead with clarity, confidence, and calm through the CARE Leadership Model™. Learn more at drjuliedonley.com.
