Leading Together: The Power of Asking for Help and Trusting Your Team

Leading Together: The Power of Asking for Help and Trusting Your Team

Asking for help reduces stress, strengthens teams, and enhances leadership by fostering trust and collaboration.

by Dr. Julie Donley

I once coached a senior executive named Tom, who prided himself on handling challenges alone. He believed that being a strong leader meant solving problems independently. But during a particularly demanding project, he became overwhelmed and stuck. In our coaching sessions, we explored how his self-reliance was actually working against him—creating unnecessary stress and preventing his team from fully engaging.

One day, Tom decided to approach things differently. During a team meeting, he openly shared his challenges and asked for input. The response was immediate—his team engaged, offering insights and solutions. The project moved forward more smoothly, and Tom realized something crucial: true leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself—it’s about including others, trusting your team, and making requests that activate their strengths.

Fear of Sharing the Work: Letting Go of Control

Many leaders resist asking for help because they fear losing control. They worry:

• Will the work get done correctly?
• Will I still be respected as a leader?
• What if delegating slows things down?

But leadership isn’t about knowing or doing everything—it’s about enabling your team to function effectively. When leaders don’t ask for help, they create friction in three key ways:

1. Bottlenecking progress – By trying to control everything, leaders slow down decision-making and execution.
2. Underutilizing the team – When leaders don’t delegate or ask for input, employees feel disengaged or undervalued.
3. Increasing personal stress – Taking on too much leads to burnout, frustration, and decreased performance.

As I highlight in Leading at the Speed of People, one of the biggest obstacles in leadership is the friction we create for ourselves by refusing to trust our teams. Asking for help removes this friction, allowing teams to work together more effectively.

How Asking for Help Reduces Friction and Builds Stronger Teams

When leaders let go of control and share the work, they:

• Build trust – People feel valued when their contributions matter.
• Improve decision-making – More perspectives lead to stronger solutions.
• Reduce stress – Spreading responsibility prevents burnout.
• Increase team engagement – Employees take greater ownership when they’re involved.

Practical Strategies for Sharing the Work and Leading Effectively

1. Recognize leadership isn’t about doing it all – Your role is to lead, not carry the full load. Trust your team’s abilities.
2. Reframe your thinking – Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re smart enough to use all available resources.
3. Start small – Delegate one small task and observe how it builds confidence in your team.
4. Make clear requests – Be specific about what needs to be done and why.
5. Give up perfection – Accept that things may not always be done exactly how you would do them—but they’ll still get done.
6. Show appreciation – Acknowledge and value the contributions of others to reinforce positive behaviors and develop healthy relationships.

Take a Moment to Reflect…

Do you try to control everything, or do you trust your team? What fears hold you back from asking for help? Reflect on how this impacts your stress levels, your team’s engagement, and overall productivity.

This week, try letting go of just one thing—delegate, ask for input, or share responsibility. Notice how it reduces friction, increases engagement, and makes leadership easier.

When you stop creating unnecessary resistance and start leading at the speed of people, everything flows more smoothly.

Let’s continue to work together, trust our teams, and lead more effectively by including others.

Respectfully yours,

Dr. Julie

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Want to learn ways to decrease your stress, navigate conflict, or present yourself more powerfully? Schedule a consult today for a Private Coach Session at https://calendly.com/drjuliedonley/consult. Learn more on my website at drjuliedonley.com.

Check out my *NEW* comprehensive leadership course at http://leadingatthespeedofpeople.com.

Learn more on my website at drjuliedonley.com.

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